Thursday, March 03, 2005
Third Time's A Charm
Bit of a mixed bag today. Bear with me - I'm being a bit random at the moment. There is a bit of a narrative thread, provided I've put the paragraphs in the right order...
It took me ages to come up with this post title. I'm thinking it might be a bit too cryptic, even for me! Finished my first cryptic crossword of the year today - perhaps that's why. Some cracking clues today - here's a few for Bertie (answers hidden in the usual way).
Unionists! (5,3,5) BRIDE AND GROOM
Not straight! Not in! Out! Ref was confused (3,2,4) OUT OF TRUE
Tender voice of a Mercian ruler (4) OFFA
Supplementary words of Mountie, perhaps (5) RIDER
March past (5) APRIL
So, Phil's gone. That's quite sad. He was one of the best housemates I've had (and I've had quite a few!) - I really enjoyed the summer of 2003. And he was the first person to congratulate me on qualifying. Well, I assume he was - I was a little emotional to notice what was going on, beyond the fact that he was watching bloody Big Brother again! I also wouldn't have known so much about fixing spyware if it wasn't for him! And penknives will never look the same...
I really wish I'd written down a few of the conversations that went on last night. I can remember one conversation that went something along the lines of :
Waiter : You do realise that's a dry dish, sir?
Gavin : Oh, yes, that's fine. How hot's the sauce?
Waiter : There is no sauce sir, it's dry. We can do some medium bhuna sauce with it if you like.
Gavin : Does that cost extra?
Waiter : Yes, sir.
Gavin : Oh, well, see, I'm Scottish, so how much extra?
I didn't actually hear the answer - I was laughing a bit too loudly! I was also educated in procedures for hair transplants, discussed the relative merits and featheredness of ducks purchased from Sainsbury's, Asda and Marks & Spencer's, told my terrorist interview story at least 3 times, and finally worked out what a certain Scotsman's head has been reminding me of for some time.
Quite amused by one of the photos in a presentation from the Institute I was reading today. It's about improving students' IT skills, and shows 4 or 5 students sitting in front of a PC. Trouble is, the PC monitor is showing scandisk running - perhaps they need to learn how to shut the machine down properly first...
I've just had a phone call to tell me my car's been fixed, so I can go and fetch it at some point. Not sure I can be bothered this weekend though - would prefer to have another restful weekend, although I suspect there might be a little FSA-form-related work to be done in that period too! On that subject, I received the world's least informative e-mail today. It's going into my comedy files.
As is the advert on our internal for-sale board. This is from memory - I'll put the full text in at work tomorrow :
"Sharer required for handsome schoolmaster.
17.1 Chesnut Gelding, 18yrs old.
This gentle gentleman and I seek reliable, knowledgeable sharer for hacking, schooling and jumping. Indoor school and off road hacking available at existing yard. North city."
There wasn't a part of that advert I didn't need explaining!
On the topic of horses, DT went for a concussion baseline scan today, before he can join the Jockey's Club. It sounded more like some kind of cross between a Mensa test and a psychology exhibit at one of those hands-on science museums. He had to recite back to the nurse numbers of increasing digit-length after she'd read them out, read out the colour used to write the names of various colours in a list (e.g. say "green" if you see the word "blue" written in green ink) and stand up straight for 30 seconds with his eyes closed. I was wondering whether it was in fact some form of hazing ritual, and they were secretly taping him when he fell over in the last one, and it'll be shown on the big screen at the Grand National next month.
It took me ages to come up with this post title. I'm thinking it might be a bit too cryptic, even for me! Finished my first cryptic crossword of the year today - perhaps that's why. Some cracking clues today - here's a few for Bertie (answers hidden in the usual way).
So, Phil's gone. That's quite sad. He was one of the best housemates I've had (and I've had quite a few!) - I really enjoyed the summer of 2003. And he was the first person to congratulate me on qualifying. Well, I assume he was - I was a little emotional to notice what was going on, beyond the fact that he was watching bloody Big Brother again! I also wouldn't have known so much about fixing spyware if it wasn't for him! And penknives will never look the same...
I really wish I'd written down a few of the conversations that went on last night. I can remember one conversation that went something along the lines of :
Waiter : You do realise that's a dry dish, sir?
Gavin : Oh, yes, that's fine. How hot's the sauce?
Waiter : There is no sauce sir, it's dry. We can do some medium bhuna sauce with it if you like.
Gavin : Does that cost extra?
Waiter : Yes, sir.
Gavin : Oh, well, see, I'm Scottish, so how much extra?
I didn't actually hear the answer - I was laughing a bit too loudly! I was also educated in procedures for hair transplants, discussed the relative merits and featheredness of ducks purchased from Sainsbury's, Asda and Marks & Spencer's, told my terrorist interview story at least 3 times, and finally worked out what a certain Scotsman's head has been reminding me of for some time.
Quite amused by one of the photos in a presentation from the Institute I was reading today. It's about improving students' IT skills, and shows 4 or 5 students sitting in front of a PC. Trouble is, the PC monitor is showing scandisk running - perhaps they need to learn how to shut the machine down properly first...
I've just had a phone call to tell me my car's been fixed, so I can go and fetch it at some point. Not sure I can be bothered this weekend though - would prefer to have another restful weekend, although I suspect there might be a little FSA-form-related work to be done in that period too! On that subject, I received the world's least informative e-mail today. It's going into my comedy files.
As is the advert on our internal for-sale board. This is from memory - I'll put the full text in at work tomorrow :
"Sharer required for handsome schoolmaster.
17.1 Chesnut Gelding, 18yrs old.
This gentle gentleman and I seek reliable, knowledgeable sharer for hacking, schooling and jumping. Indoor school and off road hacking available at existing yard. North city."
There wasn't a part of that advert I didn't need explaining!
On the topic of horses, DT went for a concussion baseline scan today, before he can join the Jockey's Club. It sounded more like some kind of cross between a Mensa test and a psychology exhibit at one of those hands-on science museums. He had to recite back to the nurse numbers of increasing digit-length after she'd read them out, read out the colour used to write the names of various colours in a list (e.g. say "green" if you see the word "blue" written in green ink) and stand up straight for 30 seconds with his eyes closed. I was wondering whether it was in fact some form of hazing ritual, and they were secretly taping him when he fell over in the last one, and it'll be shown on the big screen at the Grand National next month.
posted by Chip : 20:50
2 comments
Comments:
I don't suppose you have any explanation of the advert (or maybe even theories about it) to share with your readership do you?
Theories to share ... horse people are weird?
I asked DT to explain some of it, but I appear not to have been listening properly. Here's the potted version.
Hacking = going for rides along roads or paths.
Schooling = walking horse around fields, paddocks, etc.
17.1 = height in hands.
Gelding = used to be a man, not any more (I'm hoping you knew that one already :)
Handsome schoolmaster = the horse himself
I don't think he said what a sharer was - from context, it doesn't seem to mean exactly what it says!
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I asked DT to explain some of it, but I appear not to have been listening properly. Here's the potted version.
Hacking = going for rides along roads or paths.
Schooling = walking horse around fields, paddocks, etc.
17.1 = height in hands.
Gelding = used to be a man, not any more (I'm hoping you knew that one already :)
Handsome schoolmaster = the horse himself
I don't think he said what a sharer was - from context, it doesn't seem to mean exactly what it says!
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