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Friday, February 25, 2005

Local Boy In The Photographs 

Not many of them though.

Regular readers may have noticed the slight re-jig of the sidebar over ---> that way, in order to fit in my shiny new Flickr link, together with, at last, my holiday photos! (Pretend you're hearing a little fanfare now. Go on, it'll be fun.)

I've already had one of my write-ups corrected! The wonders of the Internet.

UPDATED

I've had a couple of reports that the sidebar looks a bit funny, likely only in certain resolutions. I've had a go at fixing what I think the problem was, and it does appear to be OK now. However, if anyone has any problems (or would like to tell me everything looks fine!), please let me know (comments or e-mail), saying what browser, version and screen resolution you're using.

7 comments

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

The Two Plays What I Saw Tonight 

I've gone for the slightly non-obvious title (subtract one to get the obvious one) because that's really how I feel about it!

"The Play What I Wrote" was the title of the (one) play I went to see. I'm still not sure I quite understand the story (for reasons, see below), but I'll attempt to describe it anyway. It's a comedy. Kim and Clive are the main characters, and they used to be a comedy double act, in the style of Morecambe and Wise, on tour round the country. However, Kim has taken up writing (poor quality) plays and trying (but failing) to get them on in big theatres with big names. Clive pretends to get Sir Ian McKellen lined up to appear in his latest play, together with a big name director, and put it on in London's West End, with the idea that instead, Clive can "hijack" the performance into a comedy show, thereby reviving the double act.

That's where I get a bit blurry on the story, because the first act was so appallingly bad that I stopped paying attention, right after they did an awful take on Wayne's World, waving their hands in front of their faces and making silly noises to signal that they were going back in time. I laughed exactly 3 times - once at a verbal joke, once at a bit of physical comedy, and once because of something Tom had said in the pub earlier about Lint, that he had said something funny while I was on holiday, but he couldn't remember what it was - he could remember laughing, because it was such a shock, but not what was said. This jibed so well with exactly how I was feeling about the play at this point! There was poorly-executed slapstick, jokes that were telegraphed in some cases up to a minute in advance (the Wayne's World one was pretty obvious - the minute-long one was a topiary sculpture (is that the right phrasing? "piece of topiary"?) in the corner that so obviously was going to get its neck cut in some way.) and very bad timing - the two were talking over each other's punchlines, not letting the audience "laugh themselves out" before continuing to the next line, stilted delivery, etc. One person said at the interval that I had to like Morecambe and Wise in order to get much of the humour in the first act. I do like them - Eric Morecambe is a comedy genius. After this, I was very near to leaving! I think the main reason I stayed is so I could berate Helen for not considering the position of "man who throws frozen chickens into jet engines to test their resilience" to be worthy of an equal opportunities policy.

However, I'm glad I didn't. The second act was an enormous improvement (to the extent of appearing to be a different play - kind of like Layla by Eric Clapton), and the similarities to Morecambe and Wise became evident. Plenty of quality jokes (delivered properly!) less acting and more "just having fun on stage", and I think I even detected an ad lib line or two in there. However, possibly my favourite point (certainly the funniest) was almost entirely unrelated to the play (and I probably wouldn't have found it nearly as funny, or reacted as I did, if I'd enjoyed Act One).

Bear in mind that this was at the most serious point of the play - Kim and Clive had had such a wonderful time performing the play Kim had written, and Clive had convinced Kim that he was a perfect straight man, and Kim was just realising he could do comedy, and was describing why Clive was his perfect funny man and going on to express his respect and love his partner. The line went something like "You're perfect for it. You've got big ears, rubbery legs and a tendency to violence." This reminded both Helen and me of someone sitting not a million miles away from us at the time, and we both giggled really loudly, then realised no-one else was giggling and how inappropriate it was to laugh then. Of course a giggle loop ensued! The two of us kept setting each other off with the noises we were making trying to suppress laughter, then Tom joined in at the sight of the two of us (and after he'd waved at Lint too!), and then strangers in nearby seats started laughing at the three of us laughing! All this was through the emotional heart of the play (which we completely missed!), which only served to extend our laughter.

We eventually managed to stop (or at least limit) our laughter once the jokes started again and we had a legitimate reason to laugh. I'm still going to crack up again in work tomorrow when Christine (who was sat in the row behind me) asks me what on earth was going on at that point!

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Sunday, February 20, 2005

King of Spades 

To borrow a phrase from Homer Simpson, the well-known cartoon detective and Police Cop, "and that's the end of that chapter." Guess I have to start thinking up witty post titles again from tomorrow.

So real life returned with a bang (more precisely, a few sparks and then nothing at all) when my car broke down just a couple of minutes after leaving my parents' house for York. Something up with the electrical system - it was completely non-functional for a minute or two, then after leaving it for a bit, engine, steering and some of the lights work, but not brake lights or indicators, and the fuse for these blows straight away when I put a new one in. That's about the extent of my knowledge when it comes to cars, so I've borrowed my brother's old (and I mean old!) car for now.

Not really looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. It's going to be hard to get up in the morning, hard to wear a collar and tie (which is optional, so I might not - need a short-sleeved white shirt to show off the tan though...) and hardest of all will be having to sit still and do stuff for other people for 8 hours. We'll see how things go - not sure exactly what I'll be doing, whether it's my new job full time or, as seems much more likely, my old one full time!

I will get the photos onto the web at some point this week and save boring people with them. I might have to bore some of you with the Sydney Harbour Bridge ones though, as they're paper copies.

Oh, and if anyone wants a calendar, I've got 6 spare ones! I bought 3 in Oz, the required number for the flat. My brother had sent loads over from Nantucket, of which my parents had allocated me 2, and they'd (apparently!) also forgotten that they'd bought me 3 in the New Year sales, which were sat on my desk when I got back this afternoon. Finally, there was a free one from the council in the post - I fully expect not to be taken up on the offer for this particular calendar!

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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Queen of Spades 

Trip Stats


Trip duration : 48 days 8 hours
Total distance flown : 25909 miles
Average speed : 22.3 mph
Average velocity : 0 mph
Total time in air : 54 hrs 20 mins
Total time on water : 8 hrs
Total time in Rod Laver Arena : 23 hrs 25 mins
Total time in US Customs : much longer than I wanted to
Furthest northerly point : Manchester, UK, 18/02/2005 (53.35 deg N)
(although technically York is further north,
and the flight from Boston actually went further
north still)
Furthest southerly point : Apollo Bay, Victoria, Australia, 31/01/2005 (38.75 deg S)


Can someone settle a physics/maths-related debate I've been having with myself the last week, since I thought of putting the speed & velocity in the above table? Which one of them should be zero? I think I'm right, because my net displacement (the "top line" in velocity) is zero, but my net distance is non-zero. But I'm not sure.

Well, I made it home last night at about 11 pm. No food in the house whatsoever, so I had to drive into Ormskirk (5 miles or so) to the 24-hr Safeway there. Mmmmm - salad bar. Then I slept till 1 pm this afternoon! I'm currently waiting for my first load of washing to finish, so I can put the second one in - my parents have much better washing facilities than I do - you don't have to iron most things after they've been in the drier!

And one final holiday highlight - while queuing in the Heathrow passport line last night, I was stood behind Olivier Rochus, the tennis player! I've sometimes wondered what I'd say to a celebrity (define that word how you will - I know who he is!) if I met one, and now I know - absolutely nothing! My main problem was actually deciding whether he was him, or his brother Christophe, who's pretty much identical-looking. If I could have told which one he was sooner (overheard one of the people he was travelling with) I'd have asked him to sign my Aussie Open hat which I had in my coat pocket. Missed opportunities.

4 comments

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Ten of Spades 

Grrr. Having to re-type this whole damn post.

Well, I couldn't not post in every country I've been to (except Malaysia), could I? Plus my brother has decided to go home now, instead of give me a lift to the airport tomorrow morning, so I'm at a bit of a loose end. The rest of the day is likely to consist mainly of reading, eating and sleeping. I'm actually getting a little bored of this travelling lark, now that I'll be home soon. 24 hours and I'll be on my last flight, from Heathrow back to Manchester; another 2 hours and I'll be lying in my old bed at my parent's place.

It's been good to see Phil again. Not seen him since about May 2002, I think. I surprised him a little by knowing my way around better than he did though! This is my 4th or 5th visit though, so to be expected. He's really enjoying his life over here, and, irritatingly, is earning the same as me, only without having had to sit all those exams!

Had my second and hopefully final luggage-related comedy on the way to Boston (the first has been omitted for security reasons). I had 55 minutes to change planes at Toronto on Tuesday night. The 55 minutes broke down into :
  • 10 minutes getting from the plane to the luggage carousel to collect my suitcase, which you now appear to have to do on every flight.
  • 5 minutes waiting for the luggage to appear on said carousel before the tannoy announced that all US-bound luggage would now be appearing in a different terminal.
  • 15 minutes getting to said carousel, approx. 10 of which were waiting for the bus to fill up enough for the driver to consider it worth his while driving over there.
  • 30 minutes queuing for the US immigration officials to see me.
  • 5 minutes justifying why I had a transit form still in my passport from the previous week when I was changing planes in LA.
  • 5 minutes running to the baggage inspection area, getting scanned, re-checking in the suitcase, running to the very furthest gate from the scanners (Murphy strikes again!)

    The astute amongst you may have noticed that this adds up to significantly more than 55. I can assure you that all the passengers on the plane certainly did, and let me know that by glaring at me for most of the flight. New record for being last on a flight - arrival at gate 12 minutes after take-off time. (Up from arriving dead on take-off time, when the Tube took 2 hours to get me from Gloucester Road to Heathrow, on a Sunday evening.)

    As a consequence of its position in the above timeline, my suitcase didn't make it onto the flight (probably just as well - it would have been ashamed of being stared at by all the other case). So I had to wear the same clothes out to a Chinese restaurant last night that I'd been wearing for 2 days, and running in for about 10 minutes of, too! Delightful. The luggage finally arrived at about 8pm yesterday, or about 22 hours after I did!

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  • Monday, February 14, 2005

    Seven of Spades 

    Last post from Canada, and it might be the last one from abroad, actually - not sure I'll be bothered to do it in Boston, I'm only there for 2 days. What Net access I've been able to get here is really poor - they're all dedicated terminals running Netscape 7 (the only browser worse than IE 3!), which doesn't work properly with GMail, has stupidly-located keys so I keep moving the cursor around everywhere except where I want it to be, and don't seem to come with chairs, which is particularly tiring when wearing ski boots!

    Handed back my skis, boots and poles to the rental shop, so that's it for the skiing for this year, most likely - unless I finally follow through on the extremely long-term plan and buy myself some custom-fit ski boots to cope with my odd feet. My ankle and knee hurt lots. I really would have liked to get a new jacket too while I'm here (I've borrowed one from our friends in Oz that might actually be older than me! The guy in the shop commented on my "retro" look.), but doubt I can fit it in the case given weight limits.

    Now to forward-looking matters. I will be back in York on Sunday, and I would like to go out in town and say hello (and Happy New Year!) to anyone who still remembers who I am. Suggested venue - that new (although it probably isn't to you lot now) York Brewery pub on Stonegate whose name I can't remember, from 7pm. I've left Lint and Helen in charge of the UK attendees in case things need to change (e.g. the pub's already closed - unlikely if GD still lives in York though...), so hassle them about the details, not me.

    2 comments

    Friday, February 11, 2005

    Four of Spades 

    Just a quick post to say that the gondola operators at Lake Louise (yes, got the right bus today!) have very good taste in music - Snow Patrol, Josh Ritter and Keane on the way up this morning!

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    Thursday, February 10, 2005

    Three of Spades 

    It's cold and about to start snowing, so I'm sat in the coffee shop (Starbucks!) at the bottom of Sunshine resort.

    I'm obviously still a bit dopey from the flight on Monday. I managed this morning to (a) forget to brush my teeth and (b) get on a bus to the wrong skiing resort. Instead of going to Lake Louise, which is about 2 km from the hotel, I've ended up at Sunshine, about 50 km away!

    Still, the skiing's good here too. Much better views - it's mostly bowl skiing, really wide and open. Very like the back side of Montgenevre. And the snow's excellent - all natural, no snowmaking machines.

    Started thinking about work again. That's not good. I've still got more than a week left!

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    Wednesday, February 09, 2005

    Two of Spades 

    Can't believe I'm on spades already - in some ways it feels like about 5 minutes since I left, in others about 5 years!

    This may be the highest I've ever been while posting. In an altitudinous sense, of course. 2048 m above sea level, to be precise - possibly a few more than that, because I'm on the second floor at the moment, and the sign's outside the front entrance.

    Today's my first day of skiing. I should have done some yesterday, but I decided to compensate for having 0 hours of sleep out of 40 on Monday by having 15 hours of sleep out of 24 on Tuesday, thereby making me roughly on par. As usual, my right ankle is rubbing in the boot because it's a little too big, I'm having some trouble turning left cleanly (same cause), and my thighs are burning like anything (plus I'm posting this standing up in ski boots - Iasonas will be able to testify that that's not the most comfy position!), but I'm skiing, so all that doesn't really matter. It's good to be back.

    The views here are pretty amazing. The skiable area isn't too high, by the standards of Europe (highest point is about 2600m, as compared to the typical European top of the high 3000s), but there are some very high mountains around. The weather could be a little better too - it's been quite cloudy today, so the temperature has been around -15 all day. |Like I said though, I don't really care!

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    Monday, February 07, 2005

    King of Diamonds 

    This is the big one. As far as I can work out, 7th February lasts about 41 hours for me! I've got the joy of about 20 hours in planes (spread over 3 flights) ahead of me. Luckily, I've got a seat with a little extra leg room, and no-one sitting next to me, barring people oddly requesting the middle seat of a block of 3.

    Yesterday was probably my second-favourite day of the trip. I climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Could probably have done without the weather being quite so hot (the delightful grey-brown overalls you have to wear didn't help either), but it was a perfect day - no clouds at all, and we could see somewhere around 70 miles, to the Blue Mountains out west of Sydney. I've got some brilliant photos - you're not allowed to take your own camera up, but the guide takes a few photos of you.

    Had a proper barbie last night to see me off too. The rarest of rare steaks (mmm, bleeding - they cook them properly if you know the chef!), and "little salty buggers" in the Caesar salad - don't think I've ever had anchovies before, and they were quite nice.

    So, top ten memories from Oz, in no particular order.

  • Climbing the Bridge
  • "Giant bonsai trees"
  • Safin v Federer
  • Sandboarding
  • Milly the koala
  • Boost juice bars
  • The Great Ocean Road
  • 2 birds and 1 squid
  • Nearly swimming with dolphins
  • The view from Helen's house

    And finally - another 2 people thought I was Aussie yesterday. "Your accent's not that strong," spoken almost complainingly, by one!

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  • Thursday, February 03, 2005

    Ten of Diamonds 

    Not a lot to add since my last post really.

    Just having a restful time with our family friends in Kiama, a few hours south of Sydney. Kiama is known for its blowholes - two hollow tubes through the rock of the coastline where, if the waves, wind and tide are right, the sea rushes through and sprays high into the air - apparently one of them has been known to spray up to 200 ft in the air. The sea and weather has been pretty calm here though, so they were only going about 30 ft up. Still pretty impressive.

    Enjoying New Improved South Wales so far (it's an improvement over the original South Wales - no gingers here). The weather's a little better than it has been in Melbourne since I left - Thursday morning they were showing flooding all across Melbourne city centre on the news. Good timing there!

    Off to Sydney itself tomorrow - we're staying with some other friends up there. Climbing up the Harbour Bridge on Sunday, and the weather forecast is good (at the moment anyway!) Unfortunately, no cameras allowed, so I'll just have to remember it myself for posterity.

    This might be my last post from Oz *sniff*, unless there's another net terminal in Sydney airport that wants to eat my words again.

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    Tuesday, February 01, 2005

    Eight of Diamonds 

    Hmm. Don't know what went on with this post - it was blank for a few days! Got to re-type now...

    It's nice to be wrong sometimes.

    It was a very good game of tennis, the final. I was fairly nervous when Hewitt appeared to be walking away with it in the first set and a half, and I really thought he might do what he usually does and work himself up to a winning position after his fight with the line judge in the third set (which I could hear every word of!), but I was very happy he didn't. The better man won. I did spend much of the evening having to clap quietly - there wasn't a great deal of applause for Safin! I was sat near to 3 very vocal Russians, who I think were just about the only people in the crowd shouting out for him.

    Last day in Melbourne today. I've had a great time here. Went along the Great Ocean Road in an open-top minibus on Monday (A Tour With A Difference) which was fantastic. 150 miles or so of amazing coastline - I managed to take about 40 photos on the one day!

    Yesterday I went to St Kilda, which is the nearest beach to Melbourne city centre, about 5 miles south. I enjoyed the chilli, basil and mint ice cream I had while there! Then the weather started to close in a bit, and it dropped from 36C at lunchtime to 17C by tea time. I was supposed to be going on a cruise to see the penguins, but that had to be cancelled because of the weather (that's 2 now - dolphins as well!)

    In a few hours, I'll be in Sydney.

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