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Saturday, March 19, 2005

Where Do They All Come From? Where Do They All Belong? 

I can't answer the first one, but apparently the second one is "In the Three-Legged Mare."

Went out this evening in two parts. First was the first trip to Pastiche of the year, with my recently-returned parents. They had chocolate fondue for dessert. I want to go again very soon! Only if they stop playing disc one of "Now 1992-ish" though.

Second part was to the 3LM, to help GD celebrate the first time Wales have won anything ever - he gets so little practice, he's not very good at it. Here, an extremely odd woman (who, as she and I were leaving, introduced herself as Corinne, or something sounding like that) had apparently foisted herself on the group, and was, primarily, laughing at inappropriate points of other people's conversation, and butting in with utter drivel.

For example, the following :

  • "Yes, and it was apparently only when they finally threw the last of the paper into the dustbin that they realised it was in control of all their lives, and there was nothing they could do about it any more."
  • "It's like when you take people who make bread and force them to make computers instead. They just go back to their old habits and make the computers like they used to make the bread. Unless you train them properly, of course."
  • "Yeah, so if you say "I'm at the top of Mount Everest", how far are you really away from the centre of the world, and are you really on the surface? And if you just say "I'm on the top", would you be any closer? Actually, you would, especially if they moved on the other side." (She appeared to find thus last bit really funny - she practically cracked up over "on the other side.")
  • "It's really interesting, you know, like about whatever ... well, maybe not whatever, but it's still really interesting, don't you think?"

    There was another one that was so spectacularly counter-intuitive that it made so little sense that I was actually unable to get it all into my head in one go in order to remember it - like trying to describe a concept for which there's no word in the language you speak.

    I really wish I was actually making any of these up. (Oh to be able to write comedy. A piece of paper doesn't react to you properly though.) She said most of them Sheryl Crow-style (apropos of nothing) - except for the bread/computers thing, she'd said nothing in each case for the previous 2 or 3 minutes, and there were absolutely no sequiturs for her to follow with any of these lines! (I know the grammar's a bit tortured there - it's past midnight on a Sunday morning!) As far as I could tell, the bread/computers one was in response to a conversation about Doctor Who.

    When we finally got rid of her, she drove away! I was a little bit scared for her - whether it was drink or drugs, or some combination thereof, she definitely wasn't in a fit state to drive. Or, in my opinion, to interact with other people, but the police can't breathalyse you for that yet.

    1 comments
  • Comments:
    She was a bally loony. I didn't really say anything to her, mind. And I was trying to avoid eye-contact.
     
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